Funny Novelty Print Dresses

I am Jewish, but I was raised celebrating Christmas (the way many secular Jews do). Now that I am an adult, my brothers, sister, and in-laws all trade names and give gifts to one adult and then we buy for all the kids. It helps keep costs down and our minds from going crazy. This year my brother was giving to me. So I sent him a list of dresses and sweaters for him to choose from. On Christmas morning I started to open my presents. First I got the most beautiful plum colored sweater from Anthro. Then I got a grey cardigan (also from Anthro). I was down to one box. I carefully pulled back the tissue paper to reveal: The Ugliest Dress I Have Ever Seen.

It was so shockingly ugly that I couldn't even muster a 'wow, thanks Jordan'. I literally burst out laughing and looked at him like, 'are you kidding'. The print on the dress had like four different animal prints with a jungle-like pattern and it was totally vintage circa 1982. I felt SO BAD because I instantly understood that he had gone to a thrift store and picked it out himself, and I totally appreciated the time and effort that had gone into the gift, but it was just the ugliest thing ever.

So I said to him, "Jordan, is this what you think I would wear?" and he replied, "But you love weird funky prints!". And that is when I understood the dress. Because I DO love obnoxious prints- especially novelty prints from the 50s. It was really just the animal prints that made my stomach turn.

So I thought I would put together a list of ugly-chic novelty print dresses so next year, whomever gets me a gift will know what to get!

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First off we have a lovely dress with puppy faces. Perfect for animal lovers and I love how the blue belt brings out the blue in the dog's eyes.

 

 

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Ah, a globe dress. And in purple! I have seen various versions of globes on vintage dresses, and they always make me smile. Makes me think of some poor housewife who had dreams of touring the globe, and all she got was a lousy cotton house dress with the world on it.

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Walk like an Egyptian! I love this turquoise and black on a white background print of the Pharaohs. Perfect for a tongue-in-cheek Passover dress. Hey Pharaoh- Let my people go!

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Indians and weather vanes always go together in my mind. Apparently I am not the only one.

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The only problem with this print is when a guy hollers "nice jugs" you cant really get upset with him.

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Perfect for your bridge games. Or strip poker.

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This, by far, was my favorite dress. Because hello! Walnuts! Who doesn't need a walnut dress? Though the only place I could think to wear it would be to my husband's vasectomy.

Oh, and I wanted to show you ladies what Jordan is getting for Christmas next year:

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Appropriate, don't  you think?