A Wedding In Crown Heights

I just got back last Thursday from a wedding in Crown Heights. Most of you probably haven't been to CH, and still less of you know about its history, or the fact it is the epicenter of the Chabad Jewish movement. And I bet almost none of you have been to a real Orthodox Jewish wedding. So I thought I would tell you a little bit about the wedding and how it differs from the wedding you are used to.

First of all, men and women are separated. The women all hang out with the kallah (bride) and eat food while she gives well-wishers blessings. The men drink and daven (pray) with the groom. Then, when all the prayers have been said, the men bring the groom into the bride's room while singing a haunting beautiful tune that speaks of welcoming the new couple. The father of the bride and groom bless the bride and then they place a veil over her face. The veil is very thick and the bride cannot see except for where she is walking. So her mother and mother-in-law to be lead her to the place where the chuppah is set up. For those getting married in Crown Heights, the chuppah will be set up at 770 (the Chabad headquarters).

(not the wedding I was at. I forgot to take pictures of the ceremony!)

Once everyone is at 770, the ceremony begins. It is very different then the traditional ceremony you are used to. First of all, there are no 'bridesmaids' or 'groomsmen'. The brothers and sisters of the bride and groom are always dressed in their finest threads, and they do the 'work' of a bridesmaid or groomsmen. Women must wear clothing that covers their elbows, knees, and up to her neck. It sounds strict, but you would be amazed by the dresses everyone comes up with. Check these out:

Aren't those stunning! Each woman designed her own dress and had it made! Back to the ceremony:

(not the wedding I was attending)

It is hard to see what really goes on under the chuppah, because it is very crowded and hard to see. All I know is the bride, groom, parents, and rabbis circle around 7 times and sing. Then more prayers are said, some wine is blessed and drunk, and then a glass is smashed. All are symbols of various things which you can google if you are interested.

Once the ceremony is over, everyone goes back the wedding hall and it is time to PARTY! Food is eaten, wine is drunk, and then....the DANCING! Men and women do not dance with each other because it is forbidden for a man to watch someone who is not his wife or family dance. So all the women dance together and the men dance together. It sounds weird, but it is actually really nice because you don't have to feel embarrassed by your 'moves' because who cares what the women think!

At one point during the dance, the bride will be lifted onto a table with a parasol. She is raised high over the heads of the women and the groom is lifted by the men and they wave to each other over a temporary wall that has been erected to separate the dance floor. This is pretty much the only contact the bride and groom will have with each other until they go to sleep that night!

The dancing and eating and drinking can go on for hours, and usually the party ends around 1 or 2 in the morning. I am not entirely sure because I can never last that long!

Here is what I wore to the wedding. I made sure that I was covered to my elbows, neck, and knees:

I bought the dress at Macys and the undershirt at Talbots! The shoes are my Betsy Johnsons and the hat is vintage.

Here are some dresses at the wedding that I would totally wear:

Aren't those totally vintage looking?! But I am pretty sure both were designed by the wearers and then made.

And that my dear kittens, is an orthodox wedding! Isn't that totally crazy! But it is so beautiful and powerful-something I will never forget. For those of you who are Jewish, you might recognize many of the rituals. For those of you who are Christian, you  might be interested to know that if Jesus had gotten married, this is pretty much exactly the ritual he would have been in as the groom. Nothing has changed much for the wedding ceremony  for over 5 thousand years! Doesn't that just blow your mind!

So, in honor of my visit to Crown Heights for the wedding, the rest of the week will be dedicated to all things wedding. So be sure to check back and see what I have put together for you.